而我，終將永失所愛

夕陽、草地、granny，你還想要怎樣更好地生活？
死亡的權利到底應不應該掌握在自己手裡？我堅定地說是，但我周圍的朋友、親人告訴我，我這是自私，我這是在任性。一開始我是堅定的，我告訴自己，如果不能有尊嚴地活著，那我就會選擇有尊嚴地死亡。把安眠藥攪拌成我最愛的鬆糕，一口一口地吞嚥下去。穿著我的舊睡衣，心裡想念著我心愛的人，我以為我會平靜地走完這一程。可是我還在顫抖，我不敢見到我愛的人們，我甚至不能夠睜著眼睛。我在害怕。
一直一直，我都在掙扎，我怎麼會像表面上看起來那麼平靜，我怎麼會像表面上看起來那麼決絕。所以當他把我最後的毒藥搜刮一空，我徹底動搖了。我是不是真的像他們說的那樣自私？我是不是應該拖著自己沒有力氣的殘破身軀靠著輸藥管活在這個世界上？我是不是應該給我的孩子們更多的時間來面對這一切。
可是，最後的最後，我還是要離開他們啊。他們終將面對這樣的事實。我把最好的年華都給了他們，我不後悔。但我真的不願讓他們為了照顧我勞累。更何況，我最大的願望就是有尊嚴地死去。
尊嚴啊，尊嚴啊。
都走了吧，都散了吧，這一天總會到來，不如把選擇的權利交給我。

坐在放映廳哭成愚蠢，出來給奶奶打了電話，一遍又一遍地聽Save my soul，不知道該怎麼說：
You got what you wanted
Didn't you?
Don't know where your heart is
But mine's bruised
You knew when you started
That I'd lose
The blood on the carpet
Is not you

I tried to wash the scars and marks from under my skin
But you're etched in me like stone

You can't save me (yeah, yeah)
You call it love, but still you hate me? (yeah, yeah)
Lord I try and I can't say no
You're the pain and the medicine
One taste and I'm numb again
You can't save me (yeah, yeah)
Lord I try and I can't say no

Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Ain't nothing I can do to save my soul
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah

A moth to a candle
That's me to you
I was never this fragile
Or consumed
I'm covered in shrapnel
Through and through
And I wish I knew how to
Hate you

I try to wash the scars and marks from under my skin
But you're etched in me like stone

You can't save me (yeah, yeah)
You call it love, but still you hate me? (yeah, yeah)
Lord I try and I can't say no
You're the pain and the medicine
One taste and I'm numb again
You can't save me (yeah, yeah)
Lord I try and I can't say no

Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Ain't nothing I can do to save my soul
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah

You've got your chains wrapped around me so tight
Give me enough just to keep me alive
I try to run but it hurts every time, I try
Lord I try and I can't say no
(Oh Lord)
Lord I try and I can't say no

Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Ain't nothing I can do to save my soul
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah
Oh lord, na, na, na, na, na, yeah

You got what you wanted
Didn't you?