《復仇者聯盟》的那些冷笑話

************這篇影評可能有雷************

本文包含電影中的對白，直接劇透。未觀看該片的讀者嚴禁閱讀。本文僅供看過該片英文原版的觀眾回味之用。

美國人在日常說話時會包含很多幽默，有些被稱為冷笑話。昨天看了《復仇者聯盟》，裡面充滿了這種冷幽默，但翻譯成中文後就損失了幽默感。下面我節選10段精彩冷幽默，與那些看完電影后有同感的人，一同回味《復仇者聯盟》中的搞笑鏡頭：


1. 斯嘉麗、俄國佬和菲爾探員對白 (斯嘉麗淡定的幽默)

俄國佬接過電話，blabla…

Phil to the Russian: You're in the 114 Selansky Planda, third floor. We have an F-22 at the eight miles out. Put the woman on the phone, or I'll blow the block before you can make into the lobby.

Phil to Scarlett: We need you come in.

Scarlett to Phil: Are you kidding? I'm working.

Phil to Scarlett: This case is the president.

Scarlett to Phil: I'm in the middle of an interrogation. This moron is giving me everything.

The Russian: I didn't … give … everything.

Scarlett to Phil: You can't pull me out of this right now.

Phil to Scarlett: Natasha… Barton has been compromised.

Scarlett to Phil: I need you put your hold.


2. Banner和斯嘉麗初次相見 (Banner裝萌的幽默)

Scarlett: This is the Tessaract. (Tessaract) has the potential energy to wipe out the planet.

Banner: What does Fury want me do? Swallow it?

Scarlett: He wants you to find it. It's been taken.

 
3. 菲爾探員和美國隊長首次見面 (菲爾探員難以抑制興奮的幽默)

Phil: You're the world's first super hero. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking his original formula.

Captain: He didn't go his way, did he?

Phil: Not so much. When he's not that thing, you know, guy's like 史蒂夫 Hawking. He's like a smart person.


4. 雷神對弟弟的解釋 (其實雷神本意不想幽默，但那句"he's adopted"實在太搞笑了)

Scarlett: Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours.

Captian: I wonder to know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading army here.

Banner: I think we shouldn't be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, just smells crazy, I mean.

Thor: I care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he's Asgard. And he's my brother.

Scarlett: He's killed eighty people in two days.

Thor: He's adopted.


5. Tony對Banner發騷 (我不得不說Tony太會挖苦Banner了)

Banner: He has to heat the cube to 100 million Kalvin, just breaks through the Kullon Berry's.

Tony: Unless someone can figure out how to stabilize the quantum tunnel in face.

Banner: Well, if he could do that, he can achieve heavy ion fusion in any reactor in the planet.

Tony: Finally, someone's speaking English. It's good to meet you, Doctor Banner. Your work in the anti-electron collision is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan in the way you lose control into an enormous green rage monster.

Banner: Thanks.


6. 美國隊長與弗瑞探員和雷神打趣 (Thor被美國隊長調戲)

Fury: I don't know about that. But it is the power by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn the sharpest man I know into his personal fly monkey.

Thor: Monkey? Do you understand?

Captain: I do. I understood that reference.


7. Tony與美國隊長鬥嘴 (Tony霸氣側漏)

Captain: You know damn well what? Back off!

Tony: I'm starting to wonder how you leave me.

Captain: Yeah, big man in suite armor. Take that off, what are you?

Tony: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

 
8. Banner從天上落下後與工人的對話 (一位旁觀者發自肺腑的幽默)

Worker: You fell off the sky.

Banner: Did I hurt anybody?

Worker: There is nobody to get hurt around here. You did scare off lots of pigeons, though.

Banner: Lucky.

Worker: Or just good aim. You were awake when you fell.

Banner: You saw?

Worker: The whole thing. Right through this ceiling, big and green, bulk ass nude. Yeah, then things were sufficient to you, when run down to the regular size, fella.

Banner: Thank you.

Worker: You're alien?

Banner: what?

Worker: Out from the space, the alien.

Banner: No.

Worker: oh, then, son, you got a condition.


9. Tony與Loki打趣 (我其實不想說Tony和綠巨人是基友)

Tony: You managed to piss off every single one of them.

Loki: That was the plan.

Tony: Not a good plan. When they come, and they will come for you.

Loki: I have an army.

Tony: We have a hulk.

…

Loki: Cowards of your friends have ties with me, when they so busy fighting you. (pointing his stick to Tony's chest. It doesn't work, and Loki wonders and tries again.) It usually works.

Tony: There happens to be issues. It is said every man of five…


10. 綠巨人猛揍Loki (不解釋，全篇最經典的一幕)

Loki: ENOUGH! You are, all of you, beneath me. I am a God, you dull creature. I will not be bullied by …

Banner: Puny God.

 

電影中還有大量冷幽默，但有些我並不覺得好笑。

總之，這是一部非常棒的電影。