記錄那些讓人會心一笑的片段——

************這篇影評可能有雷************

===1=== 排在第一的當然是這個。。。

【老闆】fuck you！
【艾琳】fuck you back！

===2=== 如何征服機車男。。。

【艾琳】你要我的號碼？
You want my number?
【喬治】是的
I do. I do want your number.
【艾琳】你要哪一個號碼，喬治？
Which number do you want? George?
【喬治】喬治，我喜歡聽你這麼叫我。你有多少個號碼？
George. I like the way you say that. How many numbers you got?
【艾琳】我現在想的數字多得很，比如說，10
I got numbers coming out of my ears. For instance, ten.
【喬治】10？
【艾琳】我的小女兒現在十個月大
Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
【喬治】你有個小女兒？
You got a little girl?
【艾琳】很性感吧？6這個數字如何？
Sexy, huh? How about this for a number ...
我另一個女兒六歲，我兒子八歲
Six - That's how old my other daughter is.
Eight - is the age of my son.
2，是我結婚和離婚的次數
Two - is how many times I've been married and divorced.
16，是我目前存款的數目
Sixteen - is the number of dollars I have in my bank account.
850-3943，是我的電話號碼
850-3943 - that's my phone number.
告訴你這麼多數字，我想你會打來的次數是零
With all the numbers I gave you, I guess ...
zero - is how many times you'll call.

===3=== 大咪咪的加持。。。

【艾德】你憑什麼以為自己能大搖大擺地走進去為所欲為呢？
What makes you think you can just walk in there and fnd what we need?
【艾琳】因為我有大咪咪
They're called boobs, Ed.
【艾德】......

===4=== 這水是特別為你們運來的。。。

【P&G公司派了3個看起來很專業很有"Secret Service"氣勢的小組前來和艾德事務所交涉】
【艾德為了氣勢上不輸於對方，還專門拉了兩個幹雜活的換上套裝以壯聲勢】
【對方一上來就用兩千萬這個看似嚇人的數字壓人，結果，正準備張口反擊的艾德發現】
【身邊的艾琳比他的嘴快的多。。。】

【山契斯小姐】咱們有話直說吧
Let's be honest here.
兩千萬是這些人一輩子也不敢夢想的財富
Twenty million dollars is more money than these people have ever dreamed of.

【艾琳】聽到這話，我就火大
See, now that pisses me off.
第一、在抗辯後 我們已找到四百多名原告
First of all, since the demurrer we have more than 400 plaintiffs.
直說吧，大家都知道原告人數不止於此
Let's be honest. We all know there are more out there.
他們也許沒受過高深教育，但也懂得除法
They may not be the most sophisticated people, but they do know how to divide.
兩千萬元分一分，連屁都買不起
Twenty million dollars isn't shit when you split it between them.
第二、這些人並不想要一夜致富
Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich.
他們只希望他們的孩子能自由戲水
They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool...
而不用在20歲時，就切除子宮
without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of 20...
比如蘿莎·迪亞茲，我們的當事人
like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours...
或像另一位客戶史坦布魯一樣脊椎退化
or have their spine deteriorate like Stan Bloom, another client of ours.
在你們提出那些笑死人的賠償金額之前
So before you come back here with another lame-ass offer...
華克先生，想想你的脊椎值多少錢
I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth, Mr. Walker...
山契斯小姐，也想想你的子宮值多少錢
or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus, Ms. Sanchez.
然後，拿出你們的計算器
Then you take out your calculator...
乘以一百
and you multiply that number by 100.
只要少於那個數目，就是在浪費我們的時間
Anything less than that is a waste of our time.

【對方的臉色越來越難看。。。】
【山契斯小姐下意識的拿起桌上的水杯，正想要喝口水緩解一下壓力。。。】

【艾琳】
By the way, we had the water
對了，這水是特別為你們運來的
Came from a well in Hinkley.
從辛克利

【山契斯小姐面露難色，猶疑中還是尷尬的放下嘴邊的水杯，草草結束了會談，落荒而逃。。。】

===5=== 那是我的檔案！

【艾琳】那是我的檔案
Those are my files.
【泰瑞莎（自認為受過法學高等教育的女律師助手）】
沒錯，快遞送給我們
Yeah. We had them couriered over.
你做的很好，這是個很好的起步
And listen, good work.They're a great start.
只要花點時間，填補你數據上的漏洞
We'll just have to spend some time filling in the holes in your research.
【艾琳】對不起… 你叫泰瑞莎吧？
Excuse me -- Theresa, is it?
我的數據沒漏洞
There are no holes in my research.
【泰瑞莎】我無意冒犯，但有些事你也許不知道
No offense. Some things we need you probably didn't know to ask.
【艾琳】別把我當白痴
Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.
我也許沒念過法學院，但我研究了18個月案情
I may not have a law degree, but I've spent 1 8 months on this case...
我對這些原告的了解，你一輩子望塵莫及
and I know more about these plaintiffs than you ever will.
【泰瑞莎（想當然地試圖隨意指出一個常見的缺漏來蒙住艾琳）】有些人甚至連電話號碼都沒記錄
You don't even have phone numbers for some of them.
【艾琳】你要誰的號碼？　
Whose number do you need?
【泰瑞莎（顯然還沒意識到問句的含義，想當然的以為對方想為資料的缺失狡辯）】每個人的都要
Everyone's.
我們必需要跟每個原告聯絡
We need to be able to contact the plaintiffs.
【艾琳】我問你要誰的電話號碼？
I said, whose number do you need?
【泰瑞莎（終於反應過來了，難以置信地)】
你不可能把600名原告的號碼都背下來吧
You don't know 600 plaintiffs' numbers by heart.

【艾琳做了個」隨便來問我吧「的姿勢和表情。。。】

【泰瑞莎（暗道：不知天高地厚，這可是你自找的，等下看你怎麼出醜）】
【泰瑞莎打開檔案箱從中隨意找了一個人名】
安娜·貝爾·丹尼斯 Annabelle Daniels.

【艾琳】安娜·貝爾·丹尼斯，714-454-9346
Annabelle Daniels. 7 1 4-454-9346.
她到5月就滿11，一出生就住在污染區
Ten years old, eleven in May. Lived on the plume since birth.
她以後想跳水上芭蕾，整天泡在游泳池
Wanted to be a synchronized swimmer, so she spent every minute in the PG&E pool.
她腦幹出現腫瘤，感恩節動了手術
A tumor on her brain stem was operated on on Thanksgiving...
之後，用放射線療治
shrunk with radiation after that.
她父母是泰德和莉塔，泰德患複製氏症
Her parents are Ted and Rita. Ted's got Crohn's disease.
莉塔有慢性頭痛，去年夏天子宮切除
Rita has chronic headaches and nausea
and underwent a hysterectomy last fall.
泰德在辛克利長大
Ted grew up in Hinkley.
他哥羅比和嫂嫂媚依，以及他們的五個孩子
His brother Robbie, his wife May and their five children...
羅比二世，馬莎，艾德，蘿莎和彼德
RobbieJr., Martha, Ed, Rose and Peter
他們也都住在污染區
also lived on the plume.
他們的號碼是454-9554
Their number is 454-95 54.
想知道他們生什麼病嗎？
You want their diseases?

【泰瑞莎（一時間無言以對，無奈之下只好作出退讓）】
我們也許一開始就踏出錯誤的第一步...
Look, we got off on the wrong foot here...
【艾琳（老娘才不給你留什麼面子）】
沒錯，小姐，你天生有兩隻左腳和難看的鞋子
That's all you got, lady--two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes.
【泰瑞莎（啞巴吃黃蓮）】。。。

===6=== 我只好出賣肉體。。。

【當艾琳和艾德搞定所有634個原告的簽字協議，合作的律師及助手，特別是上面那個泰瑞莎，都顯得難以置信】
【在懷疑的目光下。。。】

【合作律師】你是怎麼辦到的？
How did you do this?
【艾琳】我無知，又沒有念過法學院
Well, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise...
艾德又對這個體制失去信心
and Ed here was losing faith in the system...
【艾德（附和道）】是，我完全沒信心 No faith.

【接著，艾琳語出驚人。。。】

【艾琳】我只好出賣肉體
I just performed sexual favors.
【連艾德都無語了。。。】
【艾琳】我在五天內，幫634個人吹喇叭
Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days.
【艾德（偷笑）】
。。。
【泰瑞莎臉上的表情。。。實在讓人忍不住大笑。。。】