Onegin!Onegin!!

Dearest Onegin,

I write to you. It’s all I can do. And now I know it’s in your power to punish my presuming heart. Yet if you have one drop of pity, you』ll not abandon me to my unhappy fate. I am in love with you and I must tell you this or my heart, my heart which belongs to you will surely break. I would have never revealed my shame to you, if just once a week I might see you, exchange a word or two, and then think day and night of one thing alone till our next meeting. But you are unsocial they say that the country bore you. Is it true? Does the country bore you? Sometimes I wonder that you ever visited us. Why? I never know you or know this agony and fever. I know that all my life’s been leading me to this union with you. I recognize you at first sight and knew with certainty and say to myself: 「it’s him, he’s come.」 Help me. Resolve my doubts. Perhaps this is all nonsense, emptiness, a delusion, and quite another fate await me. Imagine it. I』m here alone, half out of my mind. I dread to read this over. My secret longing. I know that I can trust your honor, though I feel faint from shame and fear.

　　 Tatyana

最親愛的葉甫蓋尼:

    我在給你寫信---還能怎樣呢？我知道你完全可以懲罰我的冒昧，但是，如果你還有點滴的憐憫，你不會把我丟給無情的命運。我愛上你了，我必須讓你知道，還有我那顆屬於你的心，必定會崩潰。我不想讓你看出我有多難為情，哪怕我一個星期只能見你一次，和你說上一兩句話，我就會日日夜夜惦記著，直至再一次見面。然而，據說你不愛與人交往，鄉村使你感到無趣，是真的嗎？鄉村真的讓你個感到很無趣？有時候，我甚至希望你從未拜訪過我們。為什麼？這樣我就不會認識你，就不會感覺到煎熬和痛苦了。我知道，我命中注定要遇見你，我第一眼就認出了你，非常確定你是誰。我對自己說：「是他，他來了。」幫助我，解除我的疑慮，也許這一切不過是虛無，是無知心靈的夢而已！命運另有它的安排，請想想吧！我在這裡很孤單，渾渾噩噩。這封信我不敢再讀一次，我心底的渴望。我相信你為人正直，我快窒息於羞怯與恐懼之中了。

                                                                                                                             塔齊婭娜

 然而，塔齊婭娜得到的卻是奧涅金無情冷漠的回答：表白-親吻-結婚-家庭-義務-厭倦-通姦——這就是你想要的未來嗎？人們常說，愛情，可以增強理性，但減弱感知，我天生不適合愛情和婚姻。

天生不適合婚姻和愛情？還是對無聊的上層階級婚姻家庭生活的恐懼？生活不能沒有激情，正如奧涅金自己所說：「我從來都沒有打算拯救自己。」就讓靈魂繼續沉淪下去吧，即使真愛就在面前！

讓時間來證明這一切吧！！一個人是快活，兩個人才是生活。可是，沒有靈魂的快活，一切都只是荒廢時日。

那個端莊文雅的人兒呀！如晨曦迷霧，裊裊如煙，驚鴻一瞥，就勾起了那顆沉寂已久的心。漠然冷淡的心變得洶湧澎湃，火焰燒繞，無日無夜，無休無止......

按耐不住的心，開始追求幸福的真諦......

Tatyana,

I can foresee the bitter scorn blazing at me from your proud eyes, when you have read my secret sorrow. When we first met, through chance, I saw tenderness, like a shooting star, but did not dare to put my faith to it. Then Lensky fell, which parted us still further. Then I tore my heart away from everything it loved, rootless, estranged from all I thought that liberty and peace would serve, instead of happiness. My god! How wrong I was! How I』ve been punished. No. Day by day to be with you, follow you everywhere, alive to every smile, each movement of your eyes, dwell upon your soul’s perfection, listen to your voice, grow faint with yearning. That is bliss. And I』m cut off from it. My time is short and each day and hour is precious. Yet I just drag myself around in boredom. Every day a desert ,unless, when I wake up, I know the day will bring a glimpse of you. If you but knew the flames that burn in me, which I attempt to beat down with my reason. But let it be. I cannot struggle against my feelings anymore. I am entirely in your will.

　　 Onegin

 Dearst Tatyana,

    我能預見你尊貴的眼睛流露出強烈的鄙視之情，但我還是要說出內心的痛楚。我們初次見面，不經意間，我看見彗星般的柔情，我卻不敢相信它，連斯基的離去更拉遠了我們的距離，從此我割捨心愛的一切，無牽無掛，選擇自由與安逸的生活，而不是快樂。上帝啊，我犯了多大的錯誤！現在受到何等的懲罰，不是！天天和你在一起，追隨你的身影，振奮於你的每個微笑與眼神，回想你的盡善盡美，傾聽你的聲音，在思戀中憔悴，那是幸福！但我卻親手砍斷了這種幸福。人生短暫，每時每刻都彌足珍貴，我卻還違心地消遣無聊，時日就這麼荒廢了，除了......某天醒來我知道，今天我可以看你一眼，但願你能了解，我內心的火焰，我曾想用理性壓滅它，但還是讓它燃燒吧！我再也不能抗拒自己的情感了，我已經完全臣服於你了！

                                                                                                                          Onegin

  

 

我會變成Onegin嗎？